I would like to take a minute to talk about boundaries on social media. This is becoming an increasing annoyance in my life pretty much since I caved in and joined the land of the cell phone user. I never thought the idea that people could have instant access to me was appealing. I am not an instant access kinda gal. Sometimes I need mental preparation for interactions and I hate texting. I didn’t even have data on my phone until 6 months ago… and now that I do, I am always connected to Messenger, and Whatsapp. This in and of itself would not be a problem… the problem is that these apps are giving people information about my comings and goings that a) they don’t need to have and b) may not necessarily reflect my actual comings and goings.
Here’s the thing. Just because you can see when last I was online does not mean that you should, and just because I am online does not mean that I am available. I’m probably online right now, and I’m in the throes of mental inspiration… you could send me a message and I would swipe it away without opening it or reading it because I’m busy. I’m in the middle of something and I’m not a very good multi-tasker, so if I have to stop to go tend to a message right now this train goes off the track and I never finish this blog entry. This has nothing to do with you or your message. I’m not avoiding you, or being rude, or ignoring you. I am just not available contrary to what Messenger is telling you.
If you send me a message and it says that I’m online but I don’t answer you. Assume that it’s because I’m not available. And maybe, once you’ve sent me a message don’t stalk my box to see what I’m doing, when last I was online or if I’ve checked your message. That is fucking invasive. I repeat, just because you can, does not mean that you should. Especially if you’re going to be butt hurt that I was online 50 times and didn’t check or answer your message. Sometimes the only way I can communicate with my partner is via messenger, if I’m distracted by answering messages that takes away from the quality of the interactions with my partner… but I shouldn’t have to explain that to you. It’s none of your business why I can’t stop what I’m doing to tend to you.
Someone actually unfriended me because I didn’t answer her question about roller skating while I was showing my friends pictures of my then fiance at a Christmas party on a Saturday night. I came home and checked the messages. First one, the question, which in no way needed to be answered immediately. Second one, “Well, I saw you were online, but that’s okay… hope you’re well.” I actually had to take a pause before I responded. Yeah, I was totally online. But not prepared to have a conversation with someone as that would be pretty rude to the people I was showing off my hot husband to. During the pause I took to not respond in a super bitchy way, she saw that I saw her message and didn’t respond… and unfriended me… Okay. #byefelicia
Social media is great. I love it as a way to stay in contact with people and catch up on each others lives. But please don’t use it to keep tabs on me, and I will show you the same courtesy.